Remember what I said about kitties being clichés. I become a humongous cliché when sleeping (and dreaming, because oh, do I do that!) or waking in the morning to turn into the most adorable feed-me kitty you will ever see. And an even bigger cliché when I do my toilette—I call it kitty yoga because you have to get your paws in places that certainly only a true yogi could manage, as in your patty-paw over your head and behind it at the same time, whilst cleaning certain unmentionable parts that I understand a yogi can actually reach, too, but why would he/she want to? Hmmm…
I could be in the Cirque du Soleil with the contortions of which I am capable. Notice my excellent sentence structure. If you are wondering why I talk this way, it’s because I belong to the Society for the Preservation of Not Only The Adverb but also The English Language, which is slipping into the mire of twitters and tweets and losing it’s couth in many ways.
Ah, but, language changes all the time, the scholars say, and yes, it’s true. But I’ll take swimming lessons before I will go LAY on the beach or talk about he and me or giving something to she and I!!! Never. Never. Never in my nine lives will I talk like that, even if sometimes I slip into a bit of jive and jargon. That’s my business, because I know the difference. It’s like drawing. You learn the basics, you learn the body, you learn how to draw fast and accurately (note: the -ly on that word), and then you can abstract the animal/human.
I suppose in my cat’s world you could say that first you learn to smell really, really well, then to stay really, really still while watching your prey, and then you leap like Baryshnikov, pouncing with your front patty-paws to stop the critter, then you play with the poor wounded soul just bit in a seemingly cruel and heartless manner, but for us kitties (note I did not say ‘we’ kitties), it is the law of the jungle and honey, we don’t know no better. I know that’s not correct, but sometimes things just sound better in ‘adjusted’ language.
Or, perhaps we don’t want to know better. If those tiny rodents and similar morsels that cause us kitties to drool were not meant to be our hors d’oeuvres, then the great creator of small animals would have made them without livers! Next: Who IS the great creator?
