Caitlin Doughty, mortician
Well, maybe the holiday season is not the time to put this link in my blog, but mama and I read this over coffee and kibble this morning in The New Yorker and both of us were laughing and kidding around about what we read and were so incredibly informed about how death is treated by so many and how the death of a loved one (or even not so loved) is one of life’s most intense experiences and must not be brushed aside as something to get rid of quickly or be afraid of, as many are. Mama, for one. But I’m not tattling on her, she’ll tell anyone that. Which is why the article was so poignant.
If you have the time, please do look at Our Bodies, Ourselves and hear what a very eccentric and wonderful woman, Caitlin Doughty, has begun and comment on what you get from it.
Some of this marvellous lady’s ideas are, frankly, hilarious, which may seem unseemly, so to speak, but I’m sure you will feel differently about the death and dying of a friend or family member or anyone after having read it.
What was amazing to mama and me is that she is so original and studied so many kinds of cultures and how they dealt or deal with dying and how some very entrepreneurial individuals are now trying to put death in its proper place along with living. Not easy. And not entirely welcome by some.
Hey, if I have the choice, which will I choose? DUH.
But, that said, my little kitty eyes were opened by what I read and I’m sure I will think about this article for many days to come…
Meanwhile, it was emotional and exhausted me a little, so ciao, for now.
Mama’s nightgown makes a lovely light cover for napping…
Thank you for that post Loulou, we think Caitlin Doughty is am amazing woman doing some seriously humane work. In the west we are so far removed from the reality of death, yet live in fear of it mostly.
When the ape’s parents died, she was wrought with anxiety at what was happening to their bodies at the undertaker. She wanted to care for them herself, as she had done in their lives. But the undertaker mocked and derided her. Despite spending time saying goodbye to them in their coffins, it felt false to her, she even had to correct how her Mum’s hair was arranged. It would have been beautiful to care for them in death. But the funeral industry in the UK is a machine. A big, greedy machine, where it’s still hard to arrange humanist burials, where every one still wears black and mostly have to endure the sanctimonious drone of aggressive, pervasive religion.
We shared the link to the article. We wish Ms Doughty all the very best in her business. We could do with her in the UK
Luff
Mungo & Jet xx
PS: Local councils here are beset by the need to fund the horribly named “paupers funerals” due to so many people living in poverty without funds to pay for funerals or friends or family who can pay either. It’s a lousy time to live or die in the UK these days 🙁
Oh, thank you for reading such a long article, but your story is so poignant. And when it’s your mama…well…what could be more important. FIE on that funeral director. He had better watch out or he’ll get a nice claw in the leg one day…
That sounds very interesting.
Well, there are some very original thinkers out there…