Posted by on Dec 9, 2024 | 14 comments

Back in my comfy cloud again but that golden one ROCKED!
Well, mama’s cousin sent these and so many seemed to be pretty funny sparks that mama advised me to just put them all in and let everyone choose one!
We like the toes on the knees one,,,,what’s your favorite?
The ability to speak several languages is an asset, but the ability to keep your mouth shut in any language is priceless.
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> Be decisive. Right or wrong, make a decision. The road is paved with
> flat squirrels.
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> Happiness is not having to set the alarm clock.
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> When I get a headache I take two aspirin and keep away from children just like the bottle says.
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> Just once, I want the prompt for username and password to say, “Close enough.”
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> Becoming an adult is the dumbest thing I’ve ever done!
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> If you see me talking to myself, just move along. I’m self-employed.
> We’re having a meeting.
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> “Your call is very important to us. Please enjoy this 40-minute flute solo.
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> Does anyone else have a plastic bag full of plastic bags or is it just me?
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> I hate it when I can’t figure out how to operate the iPad and my tech
> support guy is asleep. He’s 5 and it’s past his bedtime.
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> Today’s 3-year-olds can switch on laptops and open their favorite
> apps. When I was 3, I ate mud.
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> Tip for a successful marriage: Don’t ask your wife when dinner will be
> ready while she’s mowing the lawn.
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> So, you drive across town to a gym to walk on a treadmill?
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> I didn’t make it to the gym today. That makes five years in a row.
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> I decided to stop calling the bathroom “John” and renamed it the “Jim”. I feel so much better saying I went to the Jim this morning.
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> Old age is coming at a really bad time.
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> If God wanted me to touch my toes, He would’ve put them on my knees.
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> Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators. We haven’t met yet.
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> Why do I have to press one for English when you’re just going to
> transfer me to someone I can’t understand anyway?
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> Your people skills are fine. It’s your tolerance for idiots that needs work.
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> “On time” is when you get there.
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> Even duct tape can’t fix stupid – but it does muffle the sound.
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> It would be wonderful if we could put ourselves in the dryer for ten
> minutes, then come out wrinkle-free and three sizes smaller.
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> Lately, you’ve noticed that people your age are much older than you.
If you laughed, we have made Monday a little more fun….and if you didn’t, don’t worry. In this weird world, sometimes that makes perfect sense!!!
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