Here in Roma after three days of pondering the problems of the world, I’m on my new couch (note the use of ‘my’), still languishing a bit from both hunger and seasickness because I’m still on a diet, a regime in French…but whatever language one uses, I’m starving (well, a little bit hungry) just because when you follow me down the stairs in the morning (or anytime), I sort of walk like a Texas cowboy with a beer belly and my back legs are a bit pigeon-toed so I look like one of those guys who hang out at the pool hall soppin’ up their suds, but hey, folks, I’m a girl cat!
If I have a beer tummy, it’s because I was ‘fixed’, as they say, and that tends to make Tuxedo cats like me a bit more rounded in the middle. But I have an exercise program that’s so, so cool, because when I wake up mamma (Italian for ‘mama’) by butting her face with my little soft adorable head and then pulling her hair with my teeth, not hard, mind you, just a little tug to get her juices flowing, she will get up and play the String Game with me a little bit before we all go to breakfast, or prima colazione in Italian (a much prettier way to say it, in my opinion).
But–(no pun intended)–this is after she does her daily exercises in the bed to keep her rear in shape—20-30 derriere (that’s French for culo)lifts and 20-30 lifts with legs open and shut like scissors and 20-30 lifts in the air for more butt (that’s English for derriere) work—and to make sure that when she’s an old lady, which, according to her, she will never be, she won’t have to wear diapers or stop every half hour on trips to pee. At least that is what she says it’s for. I think there’s more to it than meets the eye.
Because papa says that when she was younger, it was her derriere that started it all. She walked past a French window at an Easter lunch and papa was out on the terrace glancing toward the door to see who had come in and there she was in a dress she had made that morning with the intention of changing her life. This is the truth, it was really that way, and so she did. Change her life, that is.
More on that later. She’s finished with her lifts and I want my BREAKFAST!
