NO I WON’T WEAR THAT!!!
(Reprinted from long ago, 6 years ago in fact) inspired by Raena Belle dressed for a Fashionista happening!)
Here’s a doozy!!! Every morning mama weighs herself, as I might have mentioned, and then she picks me up when I least suspect it and then weighs the two of us. For a couple of days now, she has been shocked, puzzled and then horrified to learn that this Cat Watcher’s torturous minimal disgusting diet, on which they have put me (note the grammatical correctness of the arrangement of words; mama is a ball-buster for that and I have to speak properly or not at all) has not only not been working—I have actually GAINED 100 grams of roly-poly kitty fat and mama didn’t want to tell papa because all of her good-hearted efforts were for naught and so they had a discussion about what to do and, as it is with most disagreements, the actual information about my body, which is my temple, was erroneous!
Mama thought the vet had said that I weigh 5.3 kg and she found out (mama, not the vet) that the vet had actually written in ink 5.6 kg and so I had in reality LOST a bunch of fat and was on the road to becoming a manquin for Cat’s Magazine modeling those ridiculous suits that owners insist their pets wear when actually the poor animal himself or herself (I will NOT use ‘theirselves’) feels like a fool and only goes along with it to pacify his human. Listen, when I was fixed—spayed, neutered, chopped and channelled, what have you—the veterinarian (yes, the very same one who said to feed me ONLY kibble, just imagine—I know there’s a mafioso in there somewhere from the kibble makers) gave mama a little pink four-legged suit to put on me so that I wouldn’t lick my wounds, so to speak, and when mama brought it home and showed it to me (there was even a Miss Kitty sort of emblem on the left side and you could bet your puss in boots that you would not catch me DEAD in this suit, and me, a wounded, operated-upon kitty in a fragile state. 
But when I saw that four-armholed tee shirt (it wasn’t the one above, actually this one is much slicker than the one mama dangled in front of me), I went straight for my under-the-bed hiding place and disappeared until I felt the scene had cleared. Mama was in hysterics, laughing the way she laughs when she tells herself her own joke and cracks up, which is pretty weird but yes, she does that and then papa says, “Mama—pleased with self” and gets a kick out of it, too, but this tee-shirt really doubled her over. “Maybe I’ll wear it,” she said between chokes, “it’s my size!” Hee hee hee hee…this went on forever and I, suffering post-operative syndrome, went where I always go in these moments—to ninna nanna land. A few words on clothes next time…
(No, there won’t, haha)
Look, mama, NO SCAR!!!
Thank cod we’re boycats. ~Wally & Ernie
Yeah,you two wouldn’t look so hot in bright pink jumpuits!
What a good idea!
For kitty boys, it isn’t necessary when they have their operation. In fact, I was surprised my two kitty boys didn’t even need a single stitch!
I confess I was disappointed they didn’t even require cones, which would have been cute. In fact, when I opened the carrier when we got home,l they ran and scampered like nothing happened!
Oh, you lucky males…all so easy for you guys. I did lie around a bit but everything healed quickly as I was prudent and did not bother the wound. Mama, unfortunately, fixed her kitty, Fiat, when he was really too old and he immediately became weak and sick…she is convinced that he would have lived much longer without the snip, but it was necessary…just too late, she thinks. Young is best. For so many things!!
Oh LouLou, you have no idea what you missed out on. MOL e can’t believe your VET gave it to your mommy fur you to wear. Those things are really ‘spensive here and one must find them on their own. But, we also can’t believe your VET told your mommy to feed you nuffin’ but kibble. We’re purretty sure she was out to make some extra bucks when you ended up sick or with a UTI. Everpawdy knows kitty shouldn’t be eatin’ kibble, fur sure nuffin’ but. Oh well, ya’a never know, you might have actually enjoyed dressin’ up like we do. 🙂 Big hugs
Luv ya’
Dezi and Raena
Oh, that was long ago and I had to give the suit back, washed!!! For other kitties to look silly in, haha. And actually, mama gave me wet food and always has, along with breakfast kibble, my “cereal”, but I eat mostly wet nice food with lots of good liquid and carrot and string beans and things. Also fish or chicken when THEY will give a little piece, not too much. But mama said she could have worn the tee shirt and looked REALLY funny. Couldn’t figure out how to get her legs in it.
I have heard of those spay suits, but wondered how one would get it on the cat 🙂
Don’t even think about it, haha.
I can only imagine the scarring (on ME)that would take place if I tried to put one of the outfits on any of my kitties. But if the kitty likes it – some do – that is ok by me.4
2]’-.l++++++87
*+
Oscar (obviously a mancat) just added his opinion ! I leave it to you to translate.
That is one language I am NOT proficient in, thank you. WHAT ON EARTH–21′(minutes?) minus plus plus plus plus plus and 87, no idea!!!
Well, I am pretty sure Oscar doesn’t speak French, so maybe you can use the translator function to put what he typed into English. He can be kind of crabby, but from all the + signs I think he was being positive !
Yes, he was actually asking to come visit southern France and I replied that he is very welcome to sleep on the couch! I’ll take the chair next to the bird TV.
I told him you had replied to his message and he is purring with delight !
If your mama had put the tee-shirt on herself, you would have had the last laugh.
I am sorry you are having problems commenting and can only do so by signing into WordPress. It is strange because it is a Blogger blog so I have no suggestions why.
Well, I bowed out and went back to your comments box, left a comment and it went through. Oh, the mysteries of cyberspace! And yes, she would have looked really cute in that pink THANG. I never forgave my vet, but mama said she would NEVER put that thing on me, thank heaven.